Last night, I was re-reading a passage from a book that has heavily influenced my life as a person and leader. That book is The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend putting it on your list! For audiobook aficionados, it’s worth a listen, too! 😊
Here’s the passage:
I remember a mini-paradigm shift I experienced one Sunday morning on a subway in New York. People were sitting quietly – some reading newspapers, some lost in thought, some resting with their eyes closed. It was a calm, peaceful scene.
Then suddenly, a man and his children entered the subway car. The children were so loud and rambunctious that instantly the whole climate changed.
The man sat down next to me and closed his eyes, apparently oblivious to the situation. The children were yelling back and forth, throwing things, even grabbing people’s papers. It was very disturbing. And yet, the man sitting next to me did nothing.
It was difficult not to feel irritated. I could not believe that he could be so insensitive as to let his children run wild like that and do nothing about it, taking no responsibility at all. It was easy to see that everyone else on the subway felt irritated, too. So finally, with what I felt like was unusual patience and restraint, I turned to him and said, “Sir, your children are really disturbing a lot of people. I wonder if you couldn’t control them a little more?”
The man lifted his gaze as if to come to a consciousness of the situation for the first time and said softly, “Oh, you’re right. I guess I should do something about it. We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago. I don’t know what do think, and I guess they don’t know who to handle it either.”
Can you imagine what I felt at that moment? My paradigm shifted. Suddenly I saw things differently, and because I saw differently, I thought differently, I felt differently, I behaved differently. My irritation vanished. I didn’t have to worry about controlling my attitude or my behavior; my heart was filled with the man’s pain. Feelings of sympathy and compassion flowed freely. “Your wife just died? Oh, I’m so sorry! Can you tell me about it? What can I do to help?”
Everything changed in an instant.
There are often moments in our lives – especially in the life of an educator a couple of weeks before the holiday break – where our frustration and aggravation begin to test our patience. Rather than giving in to them, these are often the moments we most need to use our empathy to look for a way to shift our paradigm.
Maybe there’s a student that’s really challenged you since you’ve been back from Thanksgiving? Behind most inappropriate behavior, there’s often fear and anxiety. What if you took a few moments to explore what might be going on in their life? How could that change the next two weeks for the student and for you?
Perhaps, there’s a teacher who, despite your best efforts to communicate effectively, still isn’t following a procedure correctly. Have you taken a moment to reframe your thinking, clarify your thoughts, steady your tone, and ask them if everything is okay and how you can help? Most people don’t want to fail; as leaders, it’s our job to help them figure out why it’s happening and support them moving forward.
If I had to guess, you need a paradigm shift somewhere. I know I do. The question, then, is this: Are we brave enough to embrace it and step up and do the right thing?
Choose to be Great!
Angelo
CHOOSE TO BE GREAT 