About two weeks ago, I began reading The Book of Joy, which is basically a compilation of the Dalai Lama’s and Archbishop Desmond Tutu’s teachings and conversations about happiness and the deeper, more elusive, and longer lasting emotion known as joy.
I’ve found the book to be quite profound. How could it not be given the authors? Yet, what I want to share with you is not one of their explicit teachings on joy, but an example of how they disagreed with one another.
On page 139, Douglas Abrams, the editor of the book, described something special…
“And then I saw him do what each of them did throughout the dialogues when they would come to a point of disagreement: reaffirm the relationship and compliment one another.”
So often in life, disagreements become contentious things. They devolve from differences of opinion to, at their worst, hateful words. Relationships are even destroyed over something as small as a simple disagreement.
And, yet, here are two men who, despite radically different world views, built a very deep relationship with another despite never betraying their own convictions.
I thought this was relevant to you because this is the time of school year when I often found myself in the midst of many disagreements. I can still feel the hair on the back of my neck stand up at the thought of some of them.
But, there’s another way to disagree. In the moment when we begin to share our disagreement, remember what the person sitting across from you means to you. Reaffirm the relationship and compliment them. Choose to remember that the relationship is bigger than the disagreement. Then, respond as faithfully as you can.
Leadership is hard, and disagreements are part of that hard. I’m hoping this makes your leadership journey just a little bit easier. 😊
Choose to be Great!
Angelo
CHOOSE TO BE GREAT 