Feedback is a word that often stirs anxiety within us, triggering discomfort and resistance. None of us enjoy being told where we fall short or how we can improve. Despite recognizing our imperfections, we recoil at the thought of having them pointed out, even if it’s true.
Why bring up this topic when it’s met with such aversion? Because, as the school year draws to a close, feedback will flow abundantly, yet both givers and receivers often struggle with it. The discrepancy between leaders’ ability to give feedback and people’s capacity to receive it sets the stage for potential harm. In such scenarios, wounds fester, teams falter, and schools are left less equipped to serve their students and communities.
Full disclosure: I’m far from perfect in this regard. I’ve hurt people with feedback, often being overly critical. Instead of lightening their burdens, my words sometimes add to them. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it’s a reality I must admit – especially when I’m offering counsel on it.
So, how can we offer feedback that uplifts rather than wounds? Here are some thoughts:
Begin With Grace: Let’s assume the best about others, even when they fall short of our expectations. Instead of filling in gaps with negative assumptions, let’s extend grace and generosity of spirit.
Remind Them of the Good: Celebrate the victories, no matter how small. Amidst areas for improvement, there are countless accomplishments worth acknowledging. Let’s ensure our evaluations reflect this.
Focus on One Thing: It’s overwhelming to address multiple areas for improvement at once. Let’s identify the most significant opportunity for growth and make that the focal point of our feedback.
Be Clear: Ambiguity compounds the discomfort of receiving feedback. Let’s offer clarity by providing specific examples and actionable insights for improvement.
Offer Help: Feedback without support is hollow. Let’s not only identify areas for growth but also offer assistance and guidance to facilitate that growth.
Build the Relationship: Strong relationships are the foundation of effective feedback. If giving feedback feels like a threat to the relationship, it’s a sign we need to invest more in building trust and connection. This may not do you much good this year; but, it should be a provocation for the future.
I trust that using these tips will help those around you grow, as well as help them see that greatness begins with a choice.
#ChooseToBeGreat
Angelo
P.S. – I’ll be traveling next week, so my next post will be in May.
CHOOSE TO BE GREAT 