Does your home, like mine, shift immediately into Christmas season on November 1?
As I write these words, the lights on our first Christmas tree are twinkling just over the top edge of my laptop. Kasey’s rustling about upstairs, too. No doubt, more Christmas decorations are finding their way up tonight. Before I can blink, trees will be in all the windows, garland will be draped over the banister, and a legitimate sleigh will find its home in the corner of our kitchen. And while I tend to jokingly complain about how quickly we decorate for Christmas, there’s no denying the joy it brings to our home. The lights bring an inviting warmth that signals the beginning of a season of love to be shared with family and friends.
And though many of my childhood holiday memories bring back these same feelings of goodness, I must also admit that some of my most painful memories took place in the light of our family’s Christmas tree.
Caught up in wishful thinking, I often hoped against hope that somehow I would find the kinds of gifts I knew my mother could not afford. And while she surprised us from time to time, we didn’t usually get very much in the way of impressive gifts. But they were always everything she could give.
I remember Nicole always being grateful for her gifts. And if I’m being honest, I can still feel disappointment washing over me as I unwrapped presents to find gifts I didn’t want.
Simply put, I was ungrateful.
Mom could always spot it in my eyes, and it never failed to draw her ire. As a kid, I thought she was mad because I didn’t like what she got me. Today, I’ve experienced enough of life to know better. For a mother who wanted to give her kids the world, her anger undoubtedly came from a disappointment we shared.
That’s a pain I still carry in my heart. I wish I could have those moments with her back so that I could express the gratitude I now feel for the life she worked so hard to give us.
I like to think that I’ve gotten better as I’ve gotten older. And in many ways, I truly believe that I have. But I have to admit that the same twinge of disappointment I felt as a child still finds its way into many areas of my life, far beyond the gifts I once wished for. It’s a terrible quality and one I have to routinely fight against.
Why am I sharing all this?
Well, it’s November, and even if my home has skipped directly from the spookiness of Halloween to the joy of Christmas, it’s important that we create space for a season of gratitude. As usual, this will be the theme of the month. Today, I want to begin by reminding us that gratitude is an indispensable quality of great leaders.
Great leaders are thankful leaders. They recognize the goodness that exists around them and, in many cases, can find reasons to be grateful in the midst of difficult times. In fact, it is that kind of gratitude that can sustain us in and through the darkest times. I know it because I’ve seen it.
In August of 2024, I had the privilege of spending time with my team on our annual Advance. I can think back to many joyful memories from our time together, but none impacted me more than listening to our Founder, Flip, talk about the things for which he was grateful. But this wasn’t an ordinary, routine recounting of life’s many blessings. You see, six months prior to this, Flip and Susan experienced a house fire. And immediately after sharing how the events unfolded that night, Flip unexpectedly reframed the fire and focused on what he was grateful for.
I can still hear his words in my head. Over and over, he said, “I’m grateful for…I’m grateful for…I’m grateful for…”
At a time when ungratefulness would have been understandable, he spoke at length about the many things for which he was grateful. I know Susan felt the same, too. I was sitting next to her as he shared their story of loss and, more importantly, the greater story of provision.
So, as we begin November, allow me to ask you some simple questions:
What are you grateful for? Who are you grateful for? And why are you grateful for them?
Find a few quiet moments to write down the answers to those questions today or tomorrow. And let me share this: the more difficult it is for you to identify those things right now, the more important it is for you to do this activity.
You see, gratitude helps us see the goodness around us more clearly. And when we’re able to see it, we’re better able to lead with the kind of appreciation, humility, and care our people deserve from us.
#ChooseToBeGreat
Angelo
